The Sun Can Still Shine When it is Raining

'It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness'

Charles Spurgeon

 

 

 

 

This photo was taken by me in Cambridge

 

One of the most liberating things that I have ever read or been told is that you can still feel joy when things aren't going well. To me, this felt like relief - to feel joy is not to ignore that we have problems nor does it invalidate the anguish we might feel because of them it simply means that it is ok and possible to feel happiness amongst distress. The sun can still shine when it is raining. Even amongst life's most serious problems like relationship breakdowns, illness or even death of our loved ones, we as humans have the amazing capacity to experience joy in some form or another. Discussing memories of someone passed, for example, can lead to smiles and laughter even to those in the depths of grieving and such laughter can bring relief even if for a brief moment. Tuning in to this ability to feel happiness amongst sadness and to accept it can lead to a greater sense of peace and a more optimistic outlook. It reminds us that joy is still to be found and still to be felt.

In my own experience, feelings of joy can be induced through certain activities, thoughts, beliefs etc.

1. Think of the people in your life who you love and are grateful for.

Even if this is just one or two people think about them and what they bring to your life. Remind yourself that these people are still in your life through these difficult times. You are not alone.

2. Spend time outdoors

This one is not always an inviting idea in the British weather but it really does work. Getting outside and spending time immersed in nature reminds you of the beauty to be found in the world. It also reminds me that I am a very small part of a very large universe and that often my problems are pretty small.

3. Listen to music

Music is really powerful and can induce emotions in us. Listen to a song you really like and that lifts you up. Even if you just feel happy for the duration of one song, it will give you a few moments peace from sadness, worry etc.

4. Spend time with others

Spend time with friends, family, partners or pets! Whoever makes you happy. We are social beings and spending time with others can lift our spirits even when times are hard.

5. Do something nice for someone else - but don't tell everyone.

Doing something nice for someone else sounds corny but it really does make you feel better. Buy some flowers for your friend or your Mum, girlfriend (whoever!). Write a letter to someone, go shopping for your Grandma, make a cd for a friend, run a bath for your partner. The crucial thing here, I believe, to maintain the most benefit is to not then go bragging on fb/twitter etc about this nice deed. Isn't it lovely to know that you did something nice and not just so you could tell people about it later? It is something only you and the receiver of the deed know about. Isn't that magical? Bringing joy to others when you yourself feel low is a reminder of how strong you can be.

6. LAUGH!

Perhaps the best, most effective way to feel joy amongst sadness/worry etc is to laugh. Laugh at everything and anything (where appropriate of course!), especially yourself. I remember the night before my third driving test feeling absolutely sick with worry. I was feeling very sorry for myself indeed until my Mum started laughing and saying 'What if you get an 'abandoned!' An abandoned, as I like to call it, is when you drive so badly that the tester refuses to continue the test and (no s**t Sherlock!) abandons it! For insurance purposes, the tester cannot drive you back and you therefore have to do the walk of shame back to the test centre. I had to laugh when my Mum said this, the image of me walking back was hilarious and we laughed and laughed that night inventing a list of events that could occur each of increasing ridiculousness! I was still anxious but I felt SO much better and I realised that even if the worst case scenario happened I would be able to laugh about it. I passed by the way, for those interested and I do believe it was partly due to the evening of laughter before. So...

Watch programs/films that make you laugh ( I love Miranda)
Hang out with friends and family who make you laugh.
Watch stupid you tube videos that make you laugh.

Remember, the sun can still shine when it is raining :)